Have you ever been confronted by a bully? If you are like most people, then you probably froze. Bullies rely on our human tendency to freeze rather than walk away or fight back.
The trick to not freezing is to notice yourself freezing. I know that sounds strange. You expected some other “trick.” However, at first, you just want to notice yourself freezing when the bullying shows up. It’s by noticing yourself freezing that soon you will be doing something else.
The bully is at the top, in your 5-senses experiencing.
Your emotion shows up at the bottom, in your Mental Experiencing.
Your freezing is an away move. It’s part of the flight, fight or freeze triad you’ve heard about.
Start by noticing this process from the bully to emotion, to freeze.
Do that and we will tackle what else you might do in a later email.
For now, recall those who are important to you.
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I did the wooden matrix you see below right after I heard about Philip Seymour Hoffman’s death due a heroin overdose.
I had heard that his problems started a couple of decades earlier, then he had an extended period of sobriety, and then he was given some opioids for pain. Within months he was dead. I don’t know if depression and despair entered Philip’s picture, but the may well have. Death certainly did.
We all get in away loops from time to time. Most are relatively harmless, and when we feel a huge time suck, and then we look to do more for who’s important to us and break out of the loop.
Or, we may at least find a more workable, less time consuming away move.
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The webinar, “How To Engage A Fanatic With The ProSocial Matrix” will be November 2, 2017.