Hello Folks,
I posted a brief valued routine on YouTube. You can use the viewer below, or go directly to the YouTube site at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=incBy1VQWcA
Take Care,
Kevin
Sep
14
2009
14
2009
The Matrix: The Struggle with Unwanted Mental Experiencing
Posted by Kevin Polk /
Hi Folks,
Just in case you missed the Psychological Flexibility Warm Up… Take up and object and experience it through your five senses. Then put the object down and experiencing the same object in your mind. Then ask, is there a difference between my 5 senses experiencing of the object and my mental experiencing of the object? Then, who is noticing that difference? (“me”)
Then recall what it feels like to move toward something important to you. Then what it feels like to move away from an unwanted mental experience like fear or sadness.
Again, who is noticing the difference between moving toward and moving away? (“me”)
Now we will take a closer look at moving Away…
Look at the lower left quadrant in the diagram above; it’s Mental Experiencing, Away.
That is, you are going to take a look at unwanted mental experiencing that you often move away from.
[Note: Moving away from mental experiencing is not a good or a bad thing. It’s just something you do. Same with moving Toward values is something you do. We all do Toward moves and Away moves every day.]
You start by listing some of the mental experiencing that you move away from. Fear, anger and sadness are three popular ones, but there are many others. Just take a few minutes and list as many as you can come up with. Don’t worry, if you forget some, you can always add more later.
The list you are creating is often called a “Suffering List.” It’s the unwanted mental experiencing that you can end up suffering with.
Now that you have created a Suffering List, its time to list the things in the upper left quadrant (Away Behaviors), that you do to move away from your unwanted mental experiencing. You might avoid going some place to get rid of fear. You might sleep to get rid of sadness. You might meditate to get rid of anxiety. Just list anything you do to move away from, get rid of, or reduce unwanted mental experiencing.
The list you are creating is often called a “Solutions List.” It’s the things you do to try and “Solve” unwanted mental experiencing.
Look over the Solutions List and determine which behaviors work to get rid of or reduce the unwanted mental experiencing for a little while. In other words ask the question, “Is this an effective “Short-Term” solution?“
Now look over the Solutions List and determine which of the behaviors work to permanently get rid of the unwanted mental experiencing. If you are like most people, you will find that the solutions never work for the Long-Term. That’s because mental experiencing always comes back.
The point of this exercise is simple: You are not going to get rid of unwanted mental experiencing. You might do stuff to ignore it or reduce it in the short-term, but the unwanted mental experiencing always comes back. We all do some of this short-term stuff to try and get rid of mental experiencing every day and that’s usually not a problem. It’s only when you start burning a lot of time doing it that it can become what is known as ”struggling with suffering.“
Note: This exercise is not about changing the amount of time you spend Moving Away. It’s simply and exercise to increase your awareness of moving away.
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After doing the Values (Moving Toward) and Struggling with Suffering (Moving Away) exercises hopefully you are a little more able to notice the difference between moving toward and moving away. Being able to notice these things helps increase your psychological flexibility.
Homework: Notice when you are moving Away and when you are moving Toward. While noticing moving Toward and moving Away, also notice your 5-senses experiencing AND your Mental Experiencing while moving toward and moving away. In writing this sounds complicated, but in reality you can easily do it. It’s much the same as riding a bicycle.
Below is a video that pertains to this post:
Flexibly Yours,
Kevin
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Sep
13
2009
13
2009
The Matrix: Moving Toward Values in the Matrix
Posted by Kevin Polk /
Hi Folks,
Just in case you missed the Psychological Flexibility Warm Up… Take up and object and experience it through your five senses. Then put the object down and experiencing the same object in your mind. Then ask, is there a difference between my 5 senses experiencing of the object and my mental experiencing of the object? Then, who is noticing that difference? (“me”)
Then recall what it feels like to move toward something important to you. Then what it feels like to move away from an unwanted mental experience like fear or sadness.
Again, who is noticing the difference between moving toward and moving away? (“me”)
Next we will take a closer look at moving Toward.
Here are some common values:
Intimate Relations (marriage and such)
Parenting
Friends
Work
Education
Community
Spirituality
Health
There are more, but that’s a good start.
1. Choose one of those values you could move toward over the next year.
2. Choose one of those values you could move toward over the next 6 months.
3. Choose one of those values you could move toward over the next month.
4. Choose one of those values you could move toward over the next week.
5. Choose one of those values you could move toward for the rest of today.
6. Choose one of those values you could move toward…now.
Did you notice your mind (mental experiencing) getting more and more involved as the time got shorter?
We talk of Values as Chosen Directions. Like east, you can move in a Valued Direction all of your life. Take, for example, Health: You can work out and eat right and get buff, but if you stop moving toward your health, it will deteriorate. Same with something like marriage. If you don’t move toward your marriage each day, then the marriage will fall apart.
So a Value is a direction, not an ACTION. Actions are things you do to move you toward a value. Let’s not make this complicated, actions are simply things like walking, talking, sitting, sleeping and eating. It’s much easier to thing about,
Walking for my health,
Talking to my spouse,
Driving with my children.
So the next thing you do is take a look at the Value (or Values) you chose above and plan an action you could to do move you in that Valued direction. Remember, keep it simple. Make sure you or someone else could see you doing the action.
So your “homework” will be simple. You will either do or not do the planned valued action. Believe it or not, for these psychological flexibility exercises, it does not matter if you do or do not do the valued action. It is only necessary that you notice doing or not doing the valued action. Sometime later you will think about the valued action and notice if you did or did not do it. The moment you notice you will have done your psychological flexibility homework.
I will by posting a YouTube video of this Values Routine soon.
Take Care,
Kevin
P.S. Remember this stuff is not a replacement for professional help for serious problems. If you think you may need help, go in person to see a mental health professional.
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Sep
12
2009
12
2009
The Matrix: Enhancing Psychological Flexibility: The Video
Posted by Kevin Polk /
Hi Folks,
I realize reading about this not the same as seeing it in action, so I posted a YouTube video. Nothing fancy, just me doing a warm up (The Pen and Moving Toward and Moving Away), while my daughter filmed it and my wife and colleague played the audience.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyDE0cm_7gY
Enjoy
Kevin
Kevin L. Polk, Ph.D.
The Psychological Flexibility Podcast
www.drkevinpolk.com
Remember, while I am a psychologist, this blog or the video are replacements for professional help. If you even think you might need professional help, please contact a mental health professional in your area.
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